I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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