i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
