Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
