i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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