Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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