Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
