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I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
