I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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