Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
