I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
