I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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