He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
