yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
