i jhust puked up my retainher.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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