I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
