then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
