wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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