2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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