What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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