There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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