I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
