the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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