this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
