he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
my liver is dry heaving
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
