WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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