you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
