come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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