scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
