NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
