I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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