We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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