and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
