it wasn't lemon gatorade
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
