is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
