well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
