Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
its not stalking. its research.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
