it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have post one night stand depression
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
