can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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