If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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