I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
