I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
