I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
