She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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