areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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