Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and she was petting her beer can
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
