Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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