I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
