With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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