Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm like, not good at living.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
