idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
