chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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